they didnt say exactly i'm just guessing its that i dont know wy else i didnt think we
[ another pause. all he really thinks as he stares down at his screen is "i failed again". he said he'd do better, he knew he had to— why were things so difficult for him? why does he always fall down the second, third, fourth time while everyone else went ahead by the time the first wrong was a mere step behind them? why is he such a no-good even in the midst of trying?
was the effort not enough? perhaps it wasn't. it was still a giant block of uncertainty and compassion for the neraki that even if they had the chance to push through, they didn't. he contributed to failure when he promised he wouldn't. he let the team down when maybe, just maybe he could have helped do something different. ]
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
not good enough
[ it's not just teammates that are at stake here. it's not the time to call himself no good, or wait for reborn to be his savior, his angel without wings, to kick him behind the head and smack sense into him. he has to be the sense.
she doesn't know how much that meant to him just now. he spends a moment to blink down at his screen—
now he definitely couldn't mess up next time.
but, to avoid anymore slap-offs, looking like the biggest suck up to ever suck up, or to look like he's speaking more and doing less, tsuna holds it to himself, handles it with much more care than he lets on ( or not ), settling it right there in his heart. he'll remember it. ]
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
i am will
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
hank you thank you
[ wow no stop abort mission ]
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
are you holding up ok?
[ because changing the subject is the best remedy for embarrassment. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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they didnt say exactly
i'm just guessing its that
i dont know wy else
i didnt think we
[ another pause. all he really thinks as he stares down at his screen is "i failed again". he said he'd do better, he knew he had to— why were things so difficult for him? why does he always fall down the second, third, fourth time while everyone else went ahead by the time the first wrong was a mere step behind them? why is he such a no-good even in the midst of trying?
was the effort not enough? perhaps it wasn't. it was still a giant block of uncertainty and compassion for the neraki that even if they had the chance to push through, they didn't. he contributed to failure when he promised he wouldn't. he let the team down when maybe, just maybe he could have helped do something different. ]
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
not good enough
[ it's not just teammates that are at stake here. it's not the time to call himself no good, or wait for reborn to be his savior, his angel without wings, to kick him behind the head and smack sense into him. he has to be the sense.
it's time to wake up. it's time to grow up. ]
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I'm willing to 8et no one thought they fucked up this 8ad, Tsuna.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
What are you even proposing? What counts as good enough?
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if i tried a little harder or helped with something else more maybe it would have been different i dont know
i said i wouldnt let anyone down again
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You keep typing, 8ut all I'm seeing is more empty 8ullshit! I thought we were past that stage, Tsuna.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
What ifs and hypotheticals are gr8 for making you feel like shit a8out yourself, so if that's what you want to indulge in, 8e my guest!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
8ut dwelling on what you could have done won't actually change anything.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Didn't you tell me you were going to actually 8E 8etter, instead of just talking a8out 8eing 8etter?
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
So shut up and do that. You already failed. Move on! Succeed next time. That's all that matters.
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youre right
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
sorry for making you type that
i told myself before
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Groan!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Do you ever fucking shut up????
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
God. You're just the worst. Stop apologizing to me, I don't care!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I have faith in you, Tsuna. Just do whatever it is you're going to do instead of sucking up to me, alright?
( 1 / 2 )
ok! righT! sorry!
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
i mean im not sorry!
i mean
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
[ yeah he just sent a blank message
on purpose ]
no subject
she doesn't know how much that meant to him just now. he spends a moment to blink down at his screen—
now he definitely couldn't mess up next time.
but, to avoid anymore slap-offs, looking like the biggest suck up to ever suck up, or to look like he's speaking more and doing less, tsuna holds it to himself, handles it with much more care than he lets on ( or not ), settling it right there in his heart. he'll remember it. ]
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
i am
will
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
hank you
thank you
[ wow no stop abort mission ]
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
are you holding up ok?
[ because changing the subject is the best remedy for embarrassment. ]
1/2
no subject
Good.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I'm fine? I guess? I don't know. It's 8een a long fucking day. I feel like I only just got done hauling Kyoya to medical.
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hibari? you took him to medical?
[ thank goodness— ]
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
i texted him when he was already there
you were there when he got the cuff off?
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
that's good...!! im glad!!
he was ok after right?? and you too?
he didn't try and walk away after did he??
or threaten you or anything??
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Yeah. He made it a complete pain in the ass to hunt him down! Naturally. I had to use my tracker to find the stu88orn ass.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
W8, why would you think he'd threaten me? I mean, he challenges me to a fight at least once a day, 8ut........
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Tsuna, has he, like, not told you?
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told me what?
what happened??
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Wow.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
This is pro8a8ly not the gr8est time for you to find out, 8ut the purr8east is already out of the sack!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Kyoya and I have 8een d8ing for months. I'm really surprised you didn't know! It's kind of old news 8y now.
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.....youve been debating?
( I . . . I don't get it . . . )
1/2
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Dating, Tsuna. We're a couple. He's my boyfriend. How else should I spell it out????
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FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
whs
[ whoops his thumb slipped and a look into the mind of tsuna in real time ]
someone may need to unplug tsuna and then plug him back in
Eloquent!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I would ask if this is really that surprising, 8ut considering the kind of person Kyoya is, of course it's surprising.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Try not to choke. I have invested a lot in keeping you alive! ::::(
IT KEEPS DIALING
[ but judging from the rest . . . ]
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
my fingers slipped!!
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
but anyway!!!
congradulatins!!
for you 2 i mean!!!!
FROM: sawada.tsunayoshi@cdc.org
its....... kind of weird but im not choking!!
im happy for him!!!!
[ bUT THIS IS SO WEIRD. out of all of them, hibari's the first one to . . .
HE WAS LIKE THE LAST PERSON YOU'D THINK AND ]
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will tsuna ever get the bae
the world may never know ]
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