[ his heart sinks, stomach drops twice as hard— he feels sick, a ball of unsettling nervousness growing in his center, turning to guilt. it was true. it was true and he knew it— at the time, at the moment it happened, he was so out of it, so caught in mental anguish ( as well as being pinned to a tree via arrow ) that he didn't immediately process the act of vriska shielding him from more, with her own body.

the gears only began to turn when they were away from the danger— after the fact. after she started ripping them out one by one, bleeding blue and unable to get treated for it. that was his fault— that was all his fault. ]

I—

[ he almost loses his voice as he tries to speak. cracked, shaky and dry. no matter how many times he swallows he couldn't make it any easier to explain himself. "i didn't mean to" wouldn't suffice here. he searches for the right words, perhaps too much ( worried to step out of line, even there ), eyes to the ground, heartbeat thumping in his ears— he thinks of the child, of the yell behind him to get his attention, to move— but he couldn't. ]

B-Because, I . . .

[ speak up, he thinks. ]

I wasn't strong enough—

[ was that it? admitting he was weak-? ]

I— I killed [ breathe ] one of the kids, sir, a-and I— Didn't mean to, and I felt it all, and—

[ he needs to slow down, too many ands and things that hadn't a knot to tie its ends. ]

I couldn't see anything after. I never killed anyone, like that never—

[ there was always byakuran, which he had evaporated to ash, but— somehow, that guy was still alive ( and even then, tsuna didn't know ). he felt too much, on an emotional level. on an energetic level. he felt like he killed a sibling ( if he had any ). ]